Time to dust her off...

I have been HORRIBLE about updating this blog!!! I think part of it is that NO ONE knows I write it! Anyway, this really is for me and my journey. Last night I talked to my sister about life. We laughed and cried and I told her about the journey I have been through these past years. I find myself often wondering... why me? Why do I have these specific trials? I find it hard to explain all that I go through and all of the pain I feel sometimes. My husband travels for his job and is gone half of the week in another state. This has been harder than I ever imagined. I am constantly overwhelmed by life and taking care of my family. I have three children and the thought of more paralyzes me with fear. I CANNOT HAVE PANIC ATTACKS DOMINATE MY LIFE!!! When I am pregnant anxiety rules my life. I seek refuge in the Savior and while that offers me comfort it does not take away the trial. My mother who is full of wisdom always tells me "anything in this life worthwhile is DIFFICULT." I know that is true.