My latest panic attack!

The other night I had a shower of sorts for the girl I visit teach. I had some 'issues' while getting ready... my son took the fondant which I had planned on using to make the AMAZING cake I had planned. I looked, and looked, and looked for almost an hour trying to find it. Could not! Still have not a week later. So I gave up and had a less than amazing cake. Oh well! Anyways it was a really stressful day and by bedtime they were back. Sweating at 1:00 am I got my husband up and told him I was having panic attacks. I don't know why. The stress had subsided and yet I found myself having them. I asked him to come into my children's bathroom (the only room I felt safe in) where we talked about it. I felt bad he had to get up at 4:00 am and here I was with my 'issues' again. After talking I felt better... But I resent myself. I wish I could cope with life better. I have always wanted to be one of those women who can do EVERYTHING! And the realization that I cannot because I can't handle it is really hard. I prayed, my husband gave me a blessing, and I read my scriptures. I felt better... not healed. But I slept and that was something!